Whatsername

Chapter 26: Just Tonight

My chest felt like a billion bricks were laid on top of it. I could barley breathe. I just zoned out. There was a ringing in me ear when it started fading I heard Steven saying my name over and over “Yo, Jimmy? Jim! You alight?” I come back to planet earth and look at Steven, blinking over and over again trying to contemplate what was going on. I get myself together, still completely speechless. I stand up tripping over my own feet. The whole world is spinning all around me and I’m standing still. Everyone is trying to shove there words into my ears, but all I see is there mouths moving, no words coming out just an unrecognizable echo. I feel dizzy, almost like I need to throw up. “Yeah…Yeah man, I’m-I’m fine.” I manage to stutter out. It got so dark so quickly. Scarlette was gone. Lila was gone. I have no idea where Taissa and Lance went and Zoey is sitting by ladder. Steven patted me on the back and started making his way toward the ladder to get down. Once Zoey saw Lance get down she got back up and flicked the cigarette she was smoking and made her way toward me. I was standing at this point my back to her and my head was leaning backwards staring up into the sky at each little star. If you stared long enough it looked they were jumping all around. A tear fell from my eye. Gone, everything I ever had, just gone. I feel arms wrap me up from behind me. Her fingers lock around my stomach as she holds me from behind. I look down and see her neon orange nail polish and that’s when I know its Zoey. She was just tall enough for her head to rest on my shoulder. I try to turn my head to look at her but she leaned over and whispered in my ear “No, no, no Jimmy. Calm down first okay.” I lay my hands on top of hers. Her hands were cold and so tiny compared to mine. I felt like a giant cupping her hands with my own. I sit down and she follows still sitting behind me. I lay my legs out straight and she does too, wrapping hers around mine. I’m still holding her tiny hands. I could feel her breath against my skin and it felt good. It was making a little spot of the back of my neck sweaty. She rubbed her thumb on my hand back and forth back and forth. I close my eyes for a second and let another tear escape. Sure enough, it lands on her hand, dripping down her pinky. That’s when I felt her lips against my neck, kissing it softly. It sent shivers down my spine making the hairs on my arms stand on end.  I clenched her hands. She stuck her tongue in my ear again before whispering “I told you I’d make it a good night. Now come with me.” I smirked when she said this. The tears stopped falling. The pile of bricks on my chest was lifted. I stood up and Zoey held my hand pulling it toward the side of the house. We had to jump off the roof instead of using the ladder because we didn’t want anyone to see us leave. Still holding my hand Zoey looked around for her car and when she finally spotted it she started running pulling me behind her forcing me to run along with her. She jumped in the front seat and started the car as I got in the passenger. We sped down the road leading us onto the main street. Turning left, we heading towards downtown. Glancing over at her she was smiling, and biting her lip. She cracked her window letting her golden hair blow around. I pulled out a pack of menthols from my butt pocket taking one out and putting it between my lips and offering her one. Zoey took one and slid it out of the pack slowly looking at me in the eye as she did it. I took out Scar’s old lighter, the one that has the flower on it. I bit the inside of my cheeks. It pissed me off sing it. That little ball of rage was back and honestly all I wanted to do now was finish my cigarette and pound the shit out of Zoey.  A few minutes later, Zoey pulls into a motel, a super cheap looking one too. She turns off the ignition and runs out to the lobby so she could buy a room for the night. I took my time getting out of the car, taking the last few drags before flicking it onto the ground. I want into the lobby and Zoey already has the room key. She runs back outside so we could find our room. “503, 503, 503” She kept mumbling looking for it all over this shit excuse for a place to stay. She spotted it and grabbed my hand making me run once more. The door to our room swung open. Not going to lie, the room was nice than I thought. I mean, at least it looked clean. Zoey shut the door behind her pinning my back to it. I grabbed her waist pulling her closer to me. As we deepened the kiss, my tongue slowly slid inside of her mouth, rolling my r’s in her mouth with my tongue. Smiling in the middle of the kiss, I began to remove her (Lack of) a top, lifting it over her head, doing the same to my own shirt. Unbuttoning her shorts, I slid them off a bit sticking my hand in her underwear rubbing her getting her real nice and wet, breathing heavier as I touched her. When she was really wet, I slowly slid his 2 fingers into her gently looking her in the eye as I did. Smirking as I dug my face into her neck kissing and sucking on it, leaving small purple bruises. Sliding off my skinny jeans, I fell back onto the bed letting Zoey get on top of me, taking my hand out of her panties and pulling them down. Suddenly I felt her grip around my dick. Breathing heavily, she began to ‘get me off’ I covered my face with one hand moaning and groaning. I  was hard as rock and I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed her hips pulling down her underwear all the way off, along with her shorts and fishnets. I trusted inside of her breathing heavier than usual. Zoey made me happy, and that was hard to do. The sensation of being inside her made me just want more and more. Then, she rolled me over and got on top of me. I’ve always liked it when girls took charge, I always thought it was really…well…sexy. I kissed her again, this time sucking and biting her lower lip. I could tell she liked that because she breathed really heavy and cussed under her long moans. I rolled over, and got on top of her. I grabbed a hold of the bed frame thrusting into her harder. Looking down at her face as I moved closer to her, lips brushing against each other while we were both breathing heavily, biting her lower lip again. Groaning louder, I was so fucking close to a climax, I bit harder on her lip, bruising it. “Pull out!” She yells, completely out of breath. “Pull out!!” She yells again. I do and blow a load off right onto her chest. I flop down onto my back next to her. My heart beating a million times a minute. She gets up to use the bathroom, and I get up to find my boxers. I pick up my pants and grab my pack out of the ass pocket and slide on my boxers. “You’re a wonderful fuck, Jimmy.” Zoey said poking her head out of the bathroom. “Thanks.” I reply, sliding on my skinny jeans too. I open the door to go smoke a cigarette ‘I’ll be back.” I yell before shutting the door behind me. All I had on was my pants, and it got pretty cold. The motel was 2 stories, outside of course. With the cement stairs and the peeling paint on the rails. I pull out a cigarette and light it with that fucking flower lighter. *Inhale, Exhale* I blow out a few rings. Jesus Christ…what the fuck did I just do? I just had sex with my best friend. I’m in love with Scarlette! C’mon Jimmy, get your head straight. Or maybe I love Lila. Fuck! I think it’s dangerous to leave me alone with my own mind. Just my thoughts alone could tear me apart.

Chapter 25:Good, Clean, Fun…Right?

We arrived at Steven’s house. His front yard had about 100 people in it. Just his front yard. Music was blasting from inside of his house, lights were shining through the windows, and then the front door opens and out runs a shirtless teenager with his skinny jeans sagging past his ass He had a black beanie on, and double zero gauges, he had a chest tattoo on his right peck, it was some kind of skull with a joker hat on. It looked sick on him, I could never pull it off. He was chasing some guy who had a one liter bottle of vodka, I roll down the window, and stick my head out “STEVEN!” I scream. He stops in his tracks, and looks around until we make eye contact, he runs over to Lance’s car, and slaps my hand and gives me a knuckle bump. Lance takes the key out of the ignition and we all get out. I introduce everyone to lance “I’m stoked to finally meet you guys! is this the whole gang?” he asks. “Nope, were still waiting on 3 more” I look around to see if I could see headlights in the distance. Nothing. We all walk inside, music bumping, making the whole house vibrate, lights, cans and red solo cups covering the floor, and people packed in here like sardines. The cool thing about Steven’s place was that is was in the mountains, so no one could hear us no matter how loud we played the music, therefore we couldn’t get the cops called on us. Me, Taissa, Steven and Lance all make our way through the people and to a nice little sitting area in the living room. It was a bright red love seat that Lance and Taissa sat on together. She sat crisscross then pulled out a pack of Prime Times out of her but pocket and stuck one in her mouth, then turned to Lance for a light. He always has a light. I could tell Taissa was kind of into me. When we made eye contact she’s wink or pucker her lips at me. Taissa was a beautiful girl, but I do not need to get myself into anymore trouble than I’m already in. I was sitting on a bean bag chair on the floor, Lance was sitting on a wooden stool across from me, and then there was a whole other empty orange love seat across from the red one. We were all in a little square, surrounding this rectangular glass table tucked in a little corner of the house while all the chaos was going on. Lance grabbed a little tin box off the coffee table and pulled out a pre-rolled blunt, and lit it. We passed it around. ‘inhale’ ‘hold it’ ‘exhale’ “That’s some good shit” I say blowing the smoke out of the side of my mouth ‘The Best’ Steven says holding the joint between his lips. Suddenly, I see a familiar face, familiar golden hair. I could pick her out from the middle of the crowd. She spotted Steven, they’ve met a few times before. Running behind Steven, she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek then whispering in his ear “Hey baby” Don’t get the wrong idea, They aren’t dating or anything. Zoey just has pet names for everyone. She’s one of those people that look super innocent, but is actually a super wild child on the inside. But when she dresses up for a party, you get to see her wild side, and her wild side is h.o.t hot. She was dressed in purple metallic skin tight shorts with fishnet under them. She had a cheetah bra on, with a black shirt that was only made out of netting over it making it completely see though.  “Jimmy!” She screamed jumping on top on me and sitting in my lap. I could feel myself getting hard. Her bright blue eyes looked into mine before she kissed both my cheeks as a greeting. She stayed on my lap, with her arms wrapped around my neck, getting me super turned on. Sometimes she lay her head on my chest, which would make her rub her ass against my crotch which made me want to turn her around and stick my tongue down her throat, but…I couldn’t do that to her, not to my best friend. Soon enough, I noticed a few other fine looking girls walking over to our group. Lila was wearing a Sex Pistols shirt that she deliberately ripped up and some tight black leather shorts that showed every fucking curve matching perfectly with her white Doc Martens with black laces. Scarlette on the other hand was rocking a pair of dark blue skinnies and this white blouse with a black blazer over it and some neon yellow pumps. They sat down on the empty couch to the right of me. I gave Lila a light smile, but Scarlette didn’t even glance at me. Of course the first thing Lila did was take a hit of the joint. Zoey was still in my lap, I personally think she knew she was teasing me. My arm was around her, lightly touching her thigh. I could tell Lila was a bit jealous. She kept looking down at us and glaring, just a few times though trying to not let anyone notice. I could barely hear what anyone was saying because the music was so loud, all I knew was that Zoey know had the joint, in hailing the smoke. It was weird everything Zoey did she made it look so easy and natural. She was just so innocent looking, and she even inhaled pot like a princess. I was pretty stoned at this point. But just after Zoey inhaled, she turned her face towards me blowing the smoke the smoke in my face. I inhaled as much as I could and smiled and laughed. She giggled right back at me with that perfect giggle that was so fucking cute, so fucking cute it almost made me mad. I took another hit, then passed the joint to Lance. After that hit, I knew I was beyond stoned. I laid my head down on Zoey’s shoulder closing my eyes. She turned feeling the pressure on her shoulder and rubbed her nose on my head. “C’mon Jimmy…” She whispered in my ear “Lets make tonight fun, yeah?” After finishing that sentence she stuck her tongue in my ear, nibbling on the lobe of it. I smirked when she said that, and I got shivers all the way down my spine. Over the music I heard Steven yell “Aye, I can barley hear you all, Lets chill on the roof okay?” It sounded like a good idea to me. Steven picked up the huge bottle of vodka, and he slid his little tin full of joints into his pocket and headed out into the backyard, and we all followed. Heading into the back, there wasn’t very many people. I guess the backyard was the designated make out spot or some shit, because that’s what everyone was doing back here. There was already a ladder, so Steven went first, and I followed behind him. It was a nice night. You could really see all the stars out and the weather was perfect not too hot, and not too cold. Steven sat down in the middle of his roof, putting the bottle in front of him. We all sat around the bottle, I planted my ass next to him, and next to me was Zoey, next to her was Lance, then Taissa, then Scar, then Lila then back to Steven. “I have an idea!” Taissa yelled raising her hand like a child. “We should play Never Have I Ever, and every time someone says something you have done, you have to take a gulp of vodka.” Everyone looked at everyone and nodded there heads in agreement. Then Lance began “Alright then. Never have I ever sucked cock.” Not going to lie, that made me laugh. Taissa was the first one to grab the bottle she took a swig, and then put in back in the middle. Then Zoey, kind of shocking. Then Scarlette then Lance. “Holy shit Lance!?” I say laughing my ass off “It was a dare!!!” He pleaded. Fucking faggot. Lila went next, “Never have I ever self harmed deliberately.” Shit…I grabbed the bottle and took a huge swig, then pulled down the sleeves of my flannel hiding the scars. Scarlette took the bottle too, we made eye contact after she put the bottle down. She bit her lip when she looked at me, because she knows that my scar is an ‘S’ that stands for Scarlette and hers is a ‘J’ standing for Jimmy. We go farther back than most people think, we’ve been though a lot of shit together. Meeting her eyes felt good though. Scar was next. She gulped opening her mouth “Never have I ever sex in a porta-potty.” That got a few laughs, and she was still making eye contact with me. Taissa, Lace and Steven all took a sip. Lance looked up, thinking “Never have I ever had sex with more than 4 people in one night.” Everyone thought for a bit, using there fingers to count. Nope, my record is 2 and a half. I say half because I didn’t reach a full climax. Before Steven took a sip he said “Bottoms up” And took a big swig putting the bottle back down in the middle. Taissa was next “Never have I ever cheated on anyone” Lila stares at me, I stare and her with this scared shitless look. What we had was such a fucked up love triangle. I cheated on Scar with Lila and Lila cheated on Oliver with me and Scar cheated on me with Oliver  It’s crazy. I had to be the man, I grabbed the bottle and took a swig meeting eyes with Lila the whole time. Lila took it after me, and took long gulp, Scar staring at me with this look, this look like she wants to fucking de-ball me. Then, Scarlette took the bottle, taking a swig, and putting it back down. It was awkward for a minute or two, then Zoey broke the awkward silence ‘Never have I ever been in a situation this awkward before…” She laughs to herself, and gets a few giggles out of some people. I just stay quiet though. “Hey Steven, How about you light up another joint.” Lila says nudging Steven. “Sounds good right about now huh?” He says laughing pulling out his little tin, opening it, and grabbing a lighter and a joint. He sticks it between his lips, lighting it up inhaling and exhaling then hanging it to Lila. She does the same then hands it over to Lila. I’m looking up at the sky currently, and just before I lay down on my back I hear Scarlette yell “What the hell is that?!” My eyes grow wide, and I put my hand over my mouth. Everyone looks at them. Lila drops the joint, and hides her hand. At that moment I know. Scar sees the ring. “It’s my moms!” Lila blurts out, stuttering as she said it. “Your moms? Your fucking moms? No it’s fucking not Lila! That’s my ring! That’s the ring Jimmy was going to give me you stupid bitch!” I don’t know what to do, or say at this point. Everyone turns there head towards me when she says that. I’m still in awe. I’m just sitting there with one hand over my mouth and the other running though my hair. Scarlette stands up and begins pacing around mumbling shit that I can’t understand. Then Lila stands, she doesn’t move but just stands up “S-scar…I-I can explain!” Scar turns around facing Lila “Explain what!? That you’re a stupid fucking cunt?” She starts walking up on her getting closer and closer, and when she’s finally in arm distance she swing, and pops Lila right in the mouth and nose. Every one is silent. I’m just starting thinking, ‘I fucking caused this. This is my fault.’ Lila doesn’t move, her hand was over her face, and the punch was so hard is turned her whole body so she was facing me. Lila was bleeding, From her nose and lip. Scar hit her good. Lila starts walking toward me, and she stands her ground as I look up at her with this stupid scared puppy dog face. “This is your fault! This is all your fucking fault!” I still didn’t say anything. I knew it was my fault, Because everything is my fucking fault. I just fucking sat there while my eyes welled up, and my stomach was turning. I tried to say sorry but nothing came out of my mouth.

Chapter 24: Shameless

We decided to forget about Holly and go to Steven’s party tonight, ALL of us. As a group. Just, forget about everything that happend and just get shit faced and have fun. TOGTHER. Steven always threw the raddest party, there the one’s that you will talk about for the rest of your life. I’ve been to a couple. I have the advantage of being one of his best buds. Lila left, I told her to invite Scarlette. I dug through my pocket and found my phone. I want to invite Zoey. So I scroll down all the way to ‘Z’ and see her name and click call. I put the phone to my ear and hear it ring, waiting for her to answer. (riing,riing,riing)

Zoey: Hey, whats up Jimmy?

Me: Nothing much, I just wanted to tell you theres a party at Stevens house tonight, and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go…

Zoey: Are you asking me out, Jimmy…because if you are…I…I

 Me:No, haha. The whole group is going. I didn’t want to leave you out. You are my best friend.

Zoey…Oh aha’ yeah sure Jimmy, I’ll go. Is it at his house?

Me:Yep, So i’ll see you soon? at about 8:00?

Zoey: For sure

Me: Sweet. Bye bye.

 (Hang up)

Taissa is in the bathroom putting on makeup, and Lance is in his room. He pops his head out of the door, and points across the hall “The guest room is right there.” “Sweet” I say as I walk in. The room was nothing special, just a futon, with a leather chair pushed into a corner. I set my backpack on the bed, and sat on the chair. The room was blue, and it was hardwood floor. It was a pretty decent house for an 18 year old. I put my hands on my head. I started thinking about Holly again, but I still couldn’t cry…That was a fucked up bon fire…But I have to forget about it. I have to forget everything that happened and just have fun tonight as a group. I grabbed my bag, and unzipped it and started digging through till I found my red and black flannel, with a black wife beater under it. I also grabbed my dark blue skinny jeans. I stood up and took off my Cage The Elephant shirt and threw on my black tank top. I took off my converse. Then I took off my black skinny jeans. I had to change my underwear, everything felt dirty. I pulled down my boxers and put on a new pair. They were grey and had black pen stripes. After that I put on my dark blue skinny jeans, and then tied my converse. I stood up and looked on the mirror that was hanging behind the door. I looked pretty spiffy. But it’s going to be hard to hide all this pain behind my eyes. I open the door and walk into the bathroom where I find Taissa sitting on the counter putting on eyeliner. She is wearing a dark blue cropped top that was spaghetti straps and went about 3 inches over her bellt botton. she had on white high waisted shorts with black and white creepers on. Her hair was just left straight, almost hanging to her belly button. I pick up some gel off the counter and squeeze some into my hands. I spiked my hair, and washed my hands. They felt dirty anyway. Then lance walked into the bathroom wearing white cut off skinny jeans and high top converse with a black MGMT shirt on that said mgmt in white letters written diagonally. Over that he had an all black zip up jacket. “Almost ready Tay?” He said leaning against the door. Taissa jumps off the counter, and walks right past me brushing her hand against my stomach. She walks past Lance, looks at his feet and then his face and says “Are you ready?” She said leaning the against the wall mocking him. I turn the light off and say “Then, lets go get fucked” And we left for the party in Lances car blasting Mac Miller.

Chapter 23: Our deal.
 
We all stood in complete silence looking at Holly’s dead body. It was nervewracking to think that there was a dead person in our pressance. Me being high on coke wasn’t helping the situation at all eihter. “Ok, I’m going to go get some fuel and a lighter. Jimmy, you help Lila take the body to the backyard.” Lance said as he left through the carport door. Lance lived on the side of a moutain, with no neighbors, which is kind of at our advantage at the moment. I walk up to Holly and take her wrists. Lila makes her way to Holly’s ankles and we carry her limp, lifeless body out the sliding glass door, and lay in the dirt in the middle of Lance’s backyard. She lay there, on her back. Her eyes were closed. “At least she died in her sleep, no pain.” I say to Lila while wiping the sweat trickling down my forehead. She looked at me and then moves some of her dark brown hair out of her face and replies “Yeah, I suppose.” The porch door opened and out walked Lance with Taissa following close behind. He was carrying one of those little red plastic bottles fillies with gas, and Taissa was still wiping tears off her face. I guess her and Holly were really close. They both walked up to the body, we were all standing in a little circle around Holly. Suddenly, with out saying anything Lance pours the gas onto her legs, to her waist, on her belly, to her shoulders, and finally her face. She was drenched in gasoline, and so were all of her clothes. Taissa stared crying again and laid her head on Lances shoulder and grabbed his arm burrying her face into it. We all stepped backn making little clouds of dirt circle around Holly and Lance. He reaches in his pocket and pulles out a little box of matches and strikes one. Lance stared at the flame for a while, we all just stared. He dropped the match onto Holly’s stomach, and she intantainiously catches on fire. Taissa burries her head more into his shoulder and cries harder. I couldn’t cry. All I could do was stare at her skin bubbling and her clothes and skin and hair and everything slowly turned to ash. We stood there for what seemed like hours. All of our eyes glues to the perishing body of Holly Taylor. The smell, was rancid. like burning tires. I could still smell a hint of her cranberry vanilla perfume in the air. And there Holly lies Holly’s ashes. In a tiny little pile in the Middle of Lance’s backyard. My eyes stayed dry. I couldn’t cry, I don’t know what wrong with me. Lila clentched my hand tight. Lance couldn’t believe what he just did. He walks away from the group and goes inside. He comes back a couple seconds later with a tuppowear and an ice cream scooper. He knelt down and started scooping up her ashes and dumping them in to the bowl. when there was nearly no ashes left he got up, and put the lid on the tuppowear. then he trew the spoon out his yard and on to the moutain. Lila let go of my hand and went inside. I ran inside and ran to right past Lila in the living room and straight to the bathroom, I couldn’t even descibe what the bathroom looked like, all I saw was the inside on a toilet and orange and red puke contantly comming out of my mouth. It burned my throat, and just when I thought I was done puking, I threw up one last time. I got up off the floor and looked at myself in the mirrior. I just stared. I could never look at my self the same again. I was discusting. I grabbed some mouth wash from his counter and took a swig. I swished it around in my mouth and spit in the toilet and flushed. I open the bathroom door and walked to the front room, by the front door and sat on the couch. I herd crying comming from behind me and saw Lila lying in ball by the front door I quickly run up to her and throw my arms around her “Lila, don’t cry. Please don’t cry baby. Please” I say welling up a bit. SHe took her hands and put them on my neck. I got shivers, and my whole body got warm. She put her forehead to mine and whispered “I love you.” I grabben her hand and held them tighly. I started crying. “Lila, I dont know what to do” I started crying harder “I’m so fucked up.” I hear foot steps coming into the room. Lance stands and the doorway “That was some fuck up bon fire, ya?” Lila looks at him likes he the stupidest mother fucker on the planet “Not the time, Lance” He walked up closer to us and stood tall, “So what? We have to be depressed now because someone died when it wasn’t our fault? Thats the way of life! It has to end at some point. It wasnt our fault, and we just have to pretend it never happend. Deal?” It kinda made sense. We can’t dread on this out whole life. We have to forget it.
 ”Fine.” Lila says back. She hates being wrong. “And we can’t tell ANYONE about this. Deal?” Lance readresses. “Deal” Me and Lila say in unison.

Chapter 22:Back against the wall
 
Lance walks into the front room, where Lila and I were talking “What the fook’ just happend!?” I look at him still crying a little, and cover my boner once more. Lila looked at him and said “Holly, That girl, laying on the couch…she’s dead Lance. Dead, you guys are completely fucked.” Lance took a few steps closer to Lila and nudged her with his hand and said looking her in the eye “what do you mean ‘you guys’? you’re apart of this now too.” Lila’s face then turned pale, she tried to talk but nothing came out. She finally worked up the nerve and yelled “I’m apart of this!? I wasn’t even here! This has nothing to do with me!” Lance walked up her and got really close to her face “Your here now aren’t cha, love?” Lance walked into the other room to go find Taissa. As bad as I feel, Lila is apart of this now, and so is Taissa. I leave Lila in the front room and go find Lance. He sitting on the couch nect to Holly trying to shake her awake. I make my way over there and look at Holly’s dead, lifeless body. “It’s over.” I tell him as he looks up at me “She’s dead, we will all go to jail for the rest of our lives. It’s done.” He gets up from sitting and says “Not if no one finds out” I look at him confused. “What are you implying?” I ask. “Her parents live in a diffrent state, not that they even give a shit bout’ her anyway. Yeah, she’s dead. but it’s not our fault. She overdosed.” That relieved me a little, but I was still scared shitless. “Listen, Jimmy, If we just burn the body. No one will ever know unless you tell them WHICH YOU WONT! right?” I look at my feet and run that scenerio through my head. Lance is right. No one would ever know, and there would be no evidence. I look up at Lance in the eye and say “Right.” Lila comes in and stomps up to Lance and pulls his shoulder back to wear he’s facing her “So uhh hey buddy, got any ideas on what th hell we are going to do? ‘Cause we can’t exactly call the cops.” He looked at her and chuckled to himself “Yeah hun, I have a very good idea on what were going to do, but I don’t know if I can trust you with it.” Lance and Lila have always had one of those love hate relationships. They have known eachother for at least 4 years now and are total asses to eachother but love eachother at the same time. She look up to him and says “Okay then, whats the fucking plan, captain?” He giggles sarcastically again, he then stands hi sground and replies “We burn the body, throw the ashes in the ocean or something. Her parents live in another state anyway, not that they give a shit about her. No one will know if we keep it a secrect.” He crosses his arms. He’s proably think he’s king shit for thinking of such a brilliant plan. But, the plan was good. It seemed to have no flaws.
 

Chapter 21:Where is my mind?
 
I herd Holly yawn, and saw her arms stretch up. At the same time Lance, and his girl came out of the hallway. Her shirt read “I’m not okay (I Promise)” Which is a My Chemical Romace song. So I liked her a little better. She walked up to me “Hi, I’m Taissa, I hope we weren’t too loud last night” She said and them looked at Lance. Lance didnt even acknoledge her presance. “Nah, I said. Me and Holly crashed pretty early.” “Did you like it?” Lance said and then pulled out the tuppowear again, “Yeah, I loved it.” “Good, he said. Because were clearing out this box today. with all of us here. “Sweet” I said and them walked up to him. He did the same thing as last night, licked his finger and dipped it in the bag and wiped it on his gums. He set out neary 15 lines, and i did 3 before I noticed Holly was still asleep. I manovered my way through all the wrappers and cans on the floor till i got to the couch and started shaking Holly and said “C’mon baby girl, wake up. were doing coke lines” I keep shaking her over and over but, she wont wake up. I guess she’s just really tired, I mean I’m high as balls. She will wake up sooner or later. My phone vibrates so I take it out. it says one new message from Lila. I click it reads “Where are you? I have your board.” I text her back saying “I’m at Lance’s crib.” Soon after I get a reply saying “On my way then” I don’t even know whats going on. I do two more lines and grab a beer from the frigde. I hear her door slam.and the front door she walks into the living room. She steps over a few cans and crushes some paper, till she finally reaches me. I stand up and feel extremely light headed and take the skateboard from her. She looks at me, she seems pissed off. “Uh…Hey Jimmy, Nice to see you too.” I looked at her a bit confused. and give her a big hug, and accidnetaly kiss her right on the lips. She looks at me stunned and pats my back. I sit back down, and Lila looks around the room. “Who the chick passed out on the couch?” It takes me a while to register what she says, about 10 seconds later I say “Oh! her! Thats Holly.” I say and Lila walks over to her and shakes her shoulder, trying to wake her up. “Holly…” She whispers quietly. Suddenly, Lila’s jaw drops. SHe quickly turns to me and screams “WHY IN HELL DO YOU HAVE A DEAD GIRL ON YOUR COUCH!” My body goes completely numb, more numb that it already was. My heart starts to beat fast. I studder “S-s-s-she’s not d-d-dead! Just sleeping! I promise Lila!” I begin to cry. I just burst out into tears and fall to the gound. “She’s not dead, she’s not dead, she’s not dead Lila I promise!” I keep repeating that to myself. I can’t stop crying. It’s all my fault! I got up off the floor and ran to Lila and threw my arms around her waist. I burried mt head in to her neck and cried even harder. “Everything’s my fault Lila! Scarlette, You, Holly, my dad, my mom hating me. Everything is my fault! This is the end of me. I’ll go to jail for the rest of my life. I’ll leave everyhting I own to you. I’m such an ass hole. and I deserve to burn in hell.” I say as I ball on her shoulder. She lets go of my neck and takes a deep breath, and kisses me. On the lips. It was a long passionate kiss. It made me almost smile. But i dont think anything could make me happy at this point. she leans over to my right ear and whispers “Jimmy, it’ll always get worse before it gets better, you just have to try not to worry so much.” I take her hands off of my neck and hold them in my hands. “No Lila, Listen to me! I ALWAYS fuck up. It’s not going to get better this time. I just killed a girl. I’m high as shit. And, Scar hates me. I have no place to stay. This is it for me.” I cry some more. she stares at me in the eyes, and i look down at my feet and watch my tears fall. “Jimmy, do you not see what is right in front of you? I’m a friend too. What have you fucked with me? I have a house too ya know, and I would be more than willing to take you in. I fucking love you, okay?” I look up and grab her shoulders and jerk her a little bit. “Lila! I rejected you! I should have stayed with you this whole time. You would of treated me better than Scarlette.” I take the little box out of my pocket, and remove the lid. I take out the ring and take her left hand, and slipped the ring on her ring finger. A few of my tears fell on her hand. I wiped the tears off my face and looked at Lila. “Im scared Lila, I don’t know what to do anymore…” She didn’t say a thing. Just stood there in front of me, speechless. She looked at me in the eyes. Like she really cared about me, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed it while running her fingers through me hair. I couldn’t believe I was hard with a dead girl laying on the couch 20ft. away.
 

Chapter 20: Longer than a one nightstand.
 
Making out with Holly was…amazing. She was on top of me when Lance walked back in, she quiclkly got off of me and stood up and reajusted her shirt. I grabbed a pillow from the couch and quickly covered my croutch because of my raging boner. I was kind of embarresed but I could tell Lance already knew. He looked at me and giggled. My face turned tomatoe red. Holly even laughed, but she only wanted to act cool in front of lance. from what it looked like, I thought Lance was getting a cup or something out of the wooden cuppord, but instead he pulled out a tuppowear about the size of a tissue box and opened it. “Whats in there?” I ask getting up and throwing the cushion back on the couch. My boner is long gone. He then pulls out a little zip-lock bag, filled with white grains. “Coke” he says as he pulls out a tiny spoon and puts it in the bag and scoops out some. He dumps it all on a mirrior and sets up 3 lines and starts cutting them. Then he snorts the first, it was a long line too, about 2 or 3 inches and so were the other two. He stands up straight and rubs his nose and sniffs a couple of times. Then, he licks his finger and dips it in the zip-lock and rubs his finger on his gums. He runs his tonge over his perly whites 3 or four times, before spitting in the sink. Then Holly goes up to the mirrior and plugs one of her nostrols and snorts half a line, stands up and rubs her nose fiercly and then coughs a few times. Her eyes begin to water, and she leans down and does the rest of her line. Then, It’s my turn…I’ve honestly, never done coke. I’ve smoked pot, I’ve smoked A LOT of pot. I’ve smoked cigarettes, and primes times, and hookah…But never anything bad. But, theres a first time for everything right? I knew I was going to try it atleast once in my life time. Why not with my best friend and a hot girl? I walked over and leaned down, I pressed on one of my nostrils and snorted the whole line in one breth. It burned. It felt like snorting a match that was lit on fire. I closed my eyes, stood up straight and tilted my head back. I keep contantly rubbing my nose and sniffing, and my eye keeps twitching. I can barley see straight so I walk to the couch and lay down. I sneeze 4 times in a row, and sit up. I’m completely numb. I can’t feel a thing. Holly comes and sits next to and wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes tighly. I put my hands on her wasite and just hug her for what seems like forever. It felt good to have a girl holding me that actually cared about me. Holly layed down on the couch, and I heard someone knock at the door. Lance answered it. In walked a tall girl with long chocolate brown hair that went to the middle of her back. She was wearing a red shirt that stopped at her belly botton. It said something in black letters, but I couldnt make it out. She had on a pair of black dickies skinny jeans on, and Lance took her hand and led her down the hallway and to his room. I herd there door shut. Holly sat up and grabbed my hand and started playing with my fingers. Her nails were painted. Each finger had thr british flag painted on the nail. Every once in a while, she would let out a moan, not a sexual moan, but like a sigh moan. I didn’t know what was going on, I was scared and confused. I kept spitting on the floor, and then Holly grabbed my face and put it towards hers. “Whats wrong Jimmy?” she says as she sits criss cross right in front of me “Why are you crying?”she says in concern. ”I’m crying?! I wipe my eyes and my face is soaking wet with tears. I didn’t even know. She leans over to me and whispers in my ear “Your fine baby, It will wear off soon. You just gotta make the best of it” She ends that with a smile and I kiss her. I kiss HER. It was a long kiss. A sweet, meaningful kiss. Her lips tasted like vanilla, and I could recognize her smell from miles a way. It was like a cranberry, cherry, warm vanilla smell. Her lips were soft and moist. When the kiss was over I bit my lip and smiled. She layed down on the couch and closed her eyes and smiled. She made a purring noise. I layed next to her and wrapped my arms around her. We fell asleep holding eachother, and woke up the next morning holding eachother. I got up first, i sat at the table and got some water. To think of it. I kind of like being high. Its kind of, I dont know, Peaceful. Like, nothing could hurt you.

Chapter 19: Now the truth comes out.
 
I walk out the door and skate a little bit down the street, it was a beautiful day. I stop when I see a little patch of grass and sit down and take out my phone, I call Scarlette the first time she didn’t answer then I get a call from her Me: Hey Scar! Scarlette: you called? Me: don’t mind that. Can I come over? I’m in some deep shit, and I really need a place to stay… Scarlette: uh. Sure, but we need to talk Me: great! I have to tell you something too! Scarlette: yeah…well see ya soon. Bye. Then she hangs up. I’m almost to her house, about a block away, when I get to her house she’s not there I sit on her porch on her swinging bench and clasp the box in my hand, then I see her pull up, she look beautiful. She gets out of the car and starts walking toward me “hey baby” I say and give her a hug around her waist. She replies “hey Jimmy” I follow her into her house and walk into the living room. Sat sits on the couch and I take off my jacket and lay it next to her. “I’m going to use the bathroom alright?” “okay” she says as I make my way down the hall and take my first left into the bathroom. I don’t need to piss, I just look at myself in the mirror. I take off my beanie and flip my hair and put my beanie back on, I splash some water on my face and dry It off with one of the purple towels hanging up. I look at myself and rehearse what I was going to say ‘here Scar, I want you to remember I will always love you’ fuck no. Too cheesy. ‘scar, I say again, I’m sorry. For everything.” maybe it could work. I flush the toilet to make it seem like I took a piss and then walk out. I walk down the dark hallway into the living room where I see Scar quickly sit back down on the couch. I sit next to her we both say in unison “I need to tell you something” “you first” I say looking at her and smiling. She takes a deep and long sigh and finally says “okay…well” I see her shaking like she’s nervous. I try and grab her hand but she pulls away. “I had sex with Oliver!” my whole body went numb. I stood up and took off my beanie and ran my fingers through my hair. I grabbed the bridge of my nose and look at her again, she burrys her face into her hands and starts to ball. I grab my jacket and start walking away completely stunned. she looks back and yells “don’t leave! Aren’t you going to talk to me about this?!” I look back and say “I’m sick and tired of talking! Fuck you scar” I say flipping her off “I’m done! And that a promise!” I say slamming the door. I run off her porch and across her yard, I run a few blocks away and on my fifth block I stop, heaving for air. I sit and put my hand on my knees and throw up. It’s orange and chunky…I take out my phone. I don’t wanna hangout with anymore girls…I call my best friend , Lance. (ring, ring, ring,)

Lance: Oi

Me: aye bro, can I stay over for a few days?

Lance: yeah man! I finally have my own crib! Come on over.

Me: where is it ?

Lance: where are you?

Me: (I look around) I’m at 54th and orange county.

Lance: shit, you’re about 5 min away. I’ll pick you up. Hang tight

I hang up. I sit and wait. Man, fuck Scar. You can’t fight fire with fire. 2 wrongs don’t make a right. I look at the ring I and chuckle to myself…what the fuck was I thinking?! 2 people can be destined to be in love, but not destined to be together. I see lances car. Its an old beat up grey mustang. He pulls up blasting Mac Miller. I hop in and throw my back pack in the back seat, we knuckle bump. I see he has a joint in his mouth ” can I take a drag?” I say pointing at the jay. He hands it to me blowing out a huge cloud of smoke. I take a hit and hold it in, I hand it back to him. I blow it out in rings one by one. We soon reach his house. ” it’s a 2 bedroom, 1 bath” he says unlocking the door and kicking it open. “excuse the mess.” “don’t worry about it” I say setting my bag on the floor, I see a girl laying on the couch in his living room. I step over food wrappers and cans and bottles and sit in a leather chair. I point at the girl and lance says “Holly, her names Holly” he picks a condom up off the floor and throws it at her. She wakes up In shock and picks the condom back up and throws it back at lance, he ducks and it goes right over his head and hits the refrigerator behind him. “lucky duck” she says and sits up. She has blond hair just over her shoulders and piercing blue eyes, she wearing a white wife beater and black shorts with fishnets under. She stands up and crushes a can and takes a big stretch, her shirt goes over her belly button and I see tattoo of the nirvana smiley face on her hip. “so your a fan?” I say. She looks at me confused and says “what?!” “your tat” I say getting up and lifting her shirt up just a little. “Nirvana” I almost whisper looking her in the eye. Holly was hot. She was a small girl, and very skinny. But hot. “I love them” she says biting her lip. I raise my eyebrows and sit back down, I look around and notice Lance isn’t in the room. She walks closer to me stepping on wrappers of various things and puts her hands on my shoulders, her waist is at eye level, “and you are?” she says running her fingers through the back of my hair. ” I look at her beautiful blue eyes and say “kinda hard” I say and then giggle putting my hand over my mouth and looking down at my dick. ” I mean, I have barley said 5 words to you, and you already know my turn on spot.” I say winking and grabbing her waist. She crawls on top of me and grabs my dick through my pants. “I meant your name baby” I lick my lips and say “jimmy” she runs her hands up my chest and to my neck again. She looks at me and bites her lip “you’re cute” she says. ” I blush and don’t reply. I run my hands up her side and grab her tits. She leans her head back and I pull her closer. Our lips meet, and soon our tounges slowly slid into eachothers mouth. I get instantly hard.

Chapter 18:Courageous and Confused.
 
I don’t know if were together, I don’t know if she’s mad…and I don’t know what to do about Lila. She probably hates me know. All in all; my mind is totally blurred. Ya know that feeling, where so much has happend that you can’t even chomprehend it? Like so much has happend but it’s too much for your tiny brain to handle? Well, thats what I feel like. Scarlette had to leave to go to her summer job. Man, I gotta get me one of those. I could really use the extra cash. Speaking of, I spotted the visa my dad gave me, It had 36 hundred bucks on it. I could really use a new wardrobe…I wonder how much pot 3,600 dollars could get me. Or maybe I could buy something really nice for Lila, I MEAN SCARLETTE! Fuck man, I gotta stop doing that. I know what I’m going to do with the money! I slip on my Vans and grab my Enjoi skateboard. I slip the visa in my wallet while walking out the door gripping my skateboard in one hand. I jump on my skateboard and ride down the street to the main road. I’m not going to lie, I felt fucking awesome, I couldn’t stop smileing. All I could think about is Scarlette’s beautiful body touching mine. Mmm, that woman is fine. I could hear the wind blowing. Whistling in my ears. I stop at the pawn shop and walk in. This place was called ‘Paul’s Pawn Shop’ Written on the front of the store is spray paint. Paul used to go to my school, he was a senior when I was just a tiny little eighth grader. But don’t get me wrong; He wasn’t one of those stuck up kids that think there ‘King Shit’ He just wanted to graduate. But he ended up getting expelled for pulling a prank during school. One BADASS prank, well, this is what I herd. I herd that before the teacher came in he pretened he was dead! He layed on the floor and put fake blood on his head and leaned the corner of his desk onto his head to make it look like it cracked his skull or some shit. Well, this chick Nancy told the principal, and ya…that was the end of that. Well I walked in and the welcome bell rang as I swong the door open. “Oh, Hey man!’ said Paul while lighting a ‘J’ “What do you need?” Paul was a pretty odd looking guy. He was almost 6’5 and had shaggy dirty blonde hair. his shirt was brown and read ‘You don’t know, until you know. Ya know?’ And the rest of his body I couldn’t see because he was behind the counter. “Well Paul” I said leaning down onto the counter. “I need a ring. Not a big ring. Not a wedding ring. A promise ring.” He looked at me and shook his head, He slid open a glass cabnit and took out a little silver tray and layed it on the counter. “Any of these look good to ya?” I fiddle around with a couple of them and then I see ‘it’ I was a white gold band, with a black diamond and a little ruby next to it. I pick it up, and look at it a little closer. It was beautiful, Just like Scar…”Aye Paul, How much is this one?” He walked over and said “Damn man, You really love her huh? This will probably for ummm, I don’t know 4,000? “C’mon Man!” Give me a discount!” “Well Jimmy, How much you got?” “I only got 36 hundred.” “Shit dude, alright. give me 36000.” I gave paul my visa. he rang it up, and through my card away. He put it in a little box, and then put a lid on it. He slid the little black box to me and said “You’re welcome!” “Thanks man! I said while running out the store. The welcome bell rang again. I stuck the box in my pocket and skated home. When I got home I sat at the table and took the ring out of my pocket…I gazed at it for a while. It was a beautiful ring, just like scar. I got up and walked to my moms desk and grabbed a piece of lined paper and a red sharpie. I go and sit back at the table and start writing on the piece of paper. In the middle of the first word I heard car breaks and then a door slam., at first I thought it was next door but then I herd the carport door open and then slam shut, then walked in my mom…she didn’t notice me at first she just walked to her desk and put down her huge stack of paper. She was all dressed up like she just came back from a meeting with a purple pencil skirt and a black ruffled blouse on with her hair pulled back into a bun. She quickly turned around and screamed when she saw me “Jimmy Levi Crete!” she said in her sternest voice. “yes mom…” I replied…she’s mad because I’m supposed to be in church camp, remember? “what the hell are you doing home?!” the veins in her neck were popping out making the ones in her forehead bulge out too. “mom! Calm down!” I said standing up and stuffing the paper into the tiny black box. “jimmy!” she screamed, “I have worked my ass off to pay for that summer camp you’re SUPPOSED to be at, but where are you?! At home! Fiddling with a box! I bet you never even went to camp, I bet you stayed home and did EXACTLY what I told you not didn’t you! I’m so glad my very own son doesn’t give a shit when I try to help him!” “mom! I just didn’t want to go” I said as my voice got quieter. “Jimmy Levi! You need to leave my house right now!” she yelled while stomping her foot. “but mom!” “go!” she screamed and pointed to the door. I ran to my room and grabbed my backpack and emptied everything inside and grabbed every piece of clothing in sight and stuffed it in there, I grabbed my charger and even Scars lighter. I through it in there and walked back to the living room to find her sitting on the couch crying I grab the box and put it in my jacket pocket, put my backpack over one shoulder, grab my board and yell “don’t expect me to come back unless I’m getting the rest of my shit” and I slammed the door behind me.